18 and still a virgin - is something wrong with me?
So you’re still a virgin. Guess what? That’s perfectly normal!
If you think that all your friends have already had their ‘first time’ and you’re embarrassed to be the odd one out, here’s a surprise: Not all of them have had sex! Many young people are open to their friends having sex, but truth is, most of them make a personal choice not to. In fact, probably only a small percentage of your friends are really sexually active.
Myths busted
Everyone is talking about sex, but there are a lot of misconceptions out there. Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s true and what’s false, so here are a few myths and facts about sex that you may wish to know.
Myth #1: Having sex means I’ve grown up.
Fact: Having sex does not magically make you an adult overnight. In fact, you need lots of maturity even before you start thinking about having sex!
Chances are the older you are, the more mature you will be. And that means you’ll be better equipped to handle the challenges that come with having sex e.g. taking care of yourself and your partner, preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), getting HIV/AIDS, and protecting yourself from emotional harm. Are you ready for all these responsibilities?
Myth #2: If I don’t have sex like everyone else, people will think I’m un-cool and shun me.
Fact: Only a small percentage of teens are having sex, and you don’t have to follow what your peers do all the time. People will not think of those who are confident as un-cool.
Stand up for yourself. If you don’t feel ready for sex, stick to that. Be proud of your choice to wait – you won’t have to worry about STIs and unwanted pregnancies etc. Your smart choice shows that you’re more mature than your peers. People will like you more for your self-confidence rather than whether you’ve had sex.
Myth #3: I will not get pregnant if I have sex right after my period.
Fact: The 100% guarantee against pregnancy is only if you do not have sex at all.
The best pregnancy prevention methods are condoms and birth control pills. But bear in mind that condoms also have to be used consistently (each and every time you have sex) and correctly (putting it on correctly) for them to be effective. Even so, they are still not 100% foolproof as the condom may still tear during sex. You also have to store and carry them properly e.g. don’t carry them in your wallet. Birth control pills can prevent pregnancy but they do not protect you against HIV and other STIs. Other methods such as the withdrawal and rhythm methods are highly unreliable .
Myth #4: I’m young and only tried sex once, so I’m safe from HIV or STIs.
Fact: Anyone can be a victim, young or old. All it takes is one encounter of unprotected sex with an infected person.
STIs and HIV can be transmitted via bodily fluids and sexual contact, so if you are going to have sex, you should always use a condom. You and your partner can even get checked for STIs and HIV infection before you start having sex. However, the best protection is still not having sex at all in the first place! This is not being moralistic but a scientific fact.
Myth #5 – Oral sex is safe sex
Fact: Any unprotected contact with bodily fluids means STIs can be transmitted. You can get STIs in the mouth too. However, using a condom during oral sex may reduce the chances of getting STI/HIV infection.
Fun and happiness without sex
It's a fact - the only complete protection against unwanted pregnancies and STIs is to avoid having sex. Why not wait a few more years until you and your partner are mature and ready enough for marriage and sex? The waiting will make your first time even sweeter!
In the meantime, your relationship can still be fun and fulfilling without sex.
- Spend more time together and explore each others’ interests. Share healthy activities together e.g. cycling, watching movies, etc so that you will understand each other better.
- Get to know each other better and find out if both of you have the same plan for your future together.
- Respect and love each other more. Build a stronger relationship and soon you’ll be ready to bring the relationship further.
So listen less to what your friends are saying, and listen more to yourself. Take charge of your life and make the right decisions to protect your own health and wellness!
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